Pre-Wedding Events: Planning the Party before the Wedding

Pre-wedding events are part of the excitement of getting married. They provide a chance to gather with close friends and family members to share your joy, reminisce and plan for the future.

Pre-wedding parties include everything from the engagement party to the rehearsal dinner. While none of these celebrations are mandatory, they can be a great way to enjoy nuptial traditions and calm pre-wedding jitters.

This chapter will show you how to plan a wedding shower, bachelor party and bachelorette party. We'll also cover some basics about the engagement party and rehearsal dinner to paint a complete picture of pre-wedding festivities. As the engaged couple, you and your partner likely won't have much to do with planning some of these events, but it'll help you create a wedding timeline if you know what to expect. If you need a venue to host any pre-wedding get-together, check out our breathtaking spaces.

What Kind of Parties Do You Have Before a Wedding?

Getting married involves much more than the wedding day celebration. You'll have several occasions before your wedding to have fun and revel with loved ones. Although it's up to you and your partner whether to have these parties, they can be a memorable part of your wedding journey. Pre-wedding parties include:

Engagement party
Wedding shower
Bachelor party
Bachelorette party
Rehearsal dinner

You may also choose to host a bridesmaids' luncheon before the rehearsal dinner. A bridesmaids' luncheon is a small gathering of the bridal party members hosted by the bride. It's a way for bridesmaids to relax before the wedding, and it's also an opportunity for the bride to thank the bridal party for their help and give them gifts.

Planning an Engagement Party

The engagement party may be the first pre-wedding celebration you have. It's an intimate event typically held at the host's home, a favorite restaurant or a special venue. During the engagement party, you'll officially announce your upcoming marriage to relatives, friends or both.

Who Plans the Engagement Party?

The bride's parents traditionally host the engagement party, but any relative or friend of either the bride or groom may choose to organize the celebration. Some couples have two engagement parties — one for the family and a different one for friends. If you decide to have two different engagement parties, it's proper etiquette to celebrate with family first.

How Long After You Get Engaged Do You Have an Engagement Party?

You might have your engagement party around one to three months after you get engaged, although you can also celebrate immediately after the proposal if you wish. Consider how long you plan to be engaged. If you'll be married in a few months, it's better to have the engagement party sooner rather than later. However, if you plan to be engaged for a year or longer, feel free to delay the engagement party.

Who Should Be Invited to an Engagement Party?

Engagement parties usually include close friends and family members. Keep in mind that whoever you invite to your engagement party will expect to attend the big event.

Pre-Wedding Parties for the Bride:

Planning a Bridal Shower or Wedding Shower

What's the difference between a bridal shower and a wedding shower? A bridal shower is a traditional women-only celebration, whereas a wedding shower is an event for the couple.

During a traditional bridal shower, close friends and family members of the bride bring gifts and enjoy food and games. A wedding shower, which may also be called a couple's shower or Jack and Jill party, is like a bridal shower, but it allows the groom and his family and friends to attend.

Jack and Jill parties are becoming more popular with couples who want to celebrate together, but traditional bridal parties are still something brides enjoy. A couple's shower might be an ideal choice if you have friends or family members visiting from far away or if the bride-to-be wants male friends or relatives to attend. Overall, it's entirely up to you and your other half whether you want a bridal shower or a wedding shower.

Who Plans a Wedding Shower?

Usually, a close friend, family member, wedding party member or a combination of friends and family members plan the wedding shower.

How Far in Advance Do You Have a Wedding Shower?

Wedding showers usually take place one to three months before the wedding. If you plan to invite visitors from out of town, consider having the shower farther away from your special day to give guests more time to make travel plans.

What Do You Do at a Wedding Shower?

Wedding showers usually involve eating, drinking, playing games and enjoying conversations with guests. The goal is to make guests feel comfortable and keep the event fun and memorable.

The party planner might choose a theme to guide the day's events, such as an around-the-world shower, where guests eat various international foods. Other fun ideas include a backyard picnic or a nautical theme. Regardless of theme, you can do plenty of activities to keep guests happy, from scavenger hunts to guessing games.

Just like traditional bridal showers, the couple is also given gifts to open during the event. It's up to you whether you want to ask guests to bring gifts and if you and your partner want to open them at the shower. Opening gifts can be another activity to enjoy, and guests might be looking forward to your reaction. But, if you and your fiancé prefer not to open gifts during your shower, consider asking guests to bring unwrapped gifts, so you can quickly see what friends and family bring.

Planning a Wedding Shower Checklist

If you're wondering how to plan a Jack and Jill wedding shower, here's a simple checklist to help you out:

Meet with the other wedding party members to establish a budget.
Set the date.
Choose a location for the event.
Select a theme.
Create a guest list.
Make a food and drink menu.
Organize games and activities.
Send out invitations.
Decorate and arrange the space.

Pre-Wedding Parties for the Groom:

Planning a Bachelor Party

What does a bachelor party consist of? A bachelor party is traditionally a male-only get-together where the groom celebrates his upcoming wedding with his buddies. A bachelor party usually consists of close friends, family members and groomsmen. Typically, only those who are invited to the wedding are also invited to the bachelor party.

What activities guests enjoy during a bachelor party should depend on the groom's personality. For example, guests might take the groom to play a round of golf or enjoy a brewery tour. Whoever plans the party should consult the groom first to make sure they arrange something he'll enjoy.

Who Is Supposed to Plan a Bachelor Party?

Traditionally, it's the best man's job to plan the bachelor party, but other friends and family members can also help with planning.

When Should You Start Planning a Bachelor Party?

The best man should pick a date and start planning the bachelor party around four months before the wedding. This allows time to find out which date works best for the guests and to plan other details.

Generally, the best time to have the actual party is between one and four months before the wedding. You'll want to avoid having the bachelor party too close to the wedding day. That way, friends and family from out of town can attend and not have to worry about using too much vacation time at once.

How long before the wedding is the bachelor party?

Bachelor parties are typically held between one and four months before the wedding. Most bachelor parties no longer take place the night before the wedding.

Bachelor Party Checklist

Here's a handy bachelor party checklist for the best man:

Discuss ideas with the groom.
Make a guest list.
Talk about the budget with the guests.
Choose an activity.
Set a date.
Make an itinerary.
Send out invitations.
Stock up on snacks, drinks and other supplies.

Planning a Bachelorette Party

What's the difference between a bridal shower and a bachelorette party? Unlike a bridal shower, which usually takes place during the day and involves gifts and relatives, a bachelorette party is a chance for the soon-to-be-bride to let loose with her close friends and enjoy one more night of being single.

Who Pays for a Bachelorette Party?

It's acceptable to ask anyone who joins in on the fun to chip in and help pay for the bachelorette party.

When Should You Have a Bachelorette Party?

As with a bachelor party, the bachelorette party should take place about one to four months before the wedding.

Bachelorette Party Checklist

Planning a bachelorette party begins by asking the bride what she wants. Not every bride-to-be wants to go out dancing and drinking, so seeing what she enjoys is the first step. The maid of honor, bridesmaid or another close friend can then follow this checklist:

Choose a location or activity.
Create a guest list.
Pick a date.
Talk about the budget with other bridal party members.
Send invitations.
Make reservations if needed.
Buy decor and accessories.
Stock up on drinks and food.

Planning a Wedding Rehearsal Dinner

Traditionally, the groom's parents plan and pay for the rehearsal dinner, and the bride's parents pay for the wedding. Since it's now common for both sets of parents to contribute to wedding costs, you and your fiancé might plan and pay for the rehearsal dinner or work something out with family members.

What Do You Do at a Wedding Rehearsal Dinner?

The rehearsal dinner usually takes place the night before the wedding. However, some couples decide to have the rehearsal dinner two nights before the wedding to give family and friends a chance to recuperate before the big day.

The rehearsal dinner is a chance for families to spend time together in a relaxed setting. Rehearsal dinners are often less formal than wedding receptions and might occur at the host's home, restaurant, winery or anywhere you want to gather with loved ones.

Besides eating dinner or enjoying hors d'oeuvres, the rehearsal dinner is usually when the couple gives the wedding party members and parents gifts to thank them for their support. Lastly, it's a chance to make sure everyone knows what's expected of them on the wedding day.

Who Comes to the Rehearsal Dinner for a Wedding?

Usually, immediate family, wedding party members and their significant others attend the rehearsal dinner. Depending on your budget, you might also invite the officiant and his or her spouse, and friends or family traveling from afar.

How Much Should You Spend on a Rehearsal Dinner?

It's up to you how much you can spend on your rehearsal dinner, but to give you an idea of what to expect, the average cost of a rehearsal dinner is around $1,300.

Are you planning a wedding in the Mid-Atlantic region and want a gorgeous setting for your rehearsal dinner? Contact Weddings at Baywood to learn about our picturesque venue.

Learn more about rehearsal dinner planning here.

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